When Couples Are In Stressful Relationship

“A good marriage is​ one which allows for change and growth in​ the​ individuals and in​ the​ way they express their love.” - Pearl S. Buck

When two people get married,​ it​ means they are making a​ big commitment. it​ means they should stay with each other through sickness and in​ health,​ for richer or​ for poorer,​ till death do them part. Getting into a​ marriage relationship is​ the​ sign of​ the​ fullness of​ their deep romantic love for each other. Yet,​ their love for each other is​ tested in​ the​ course of​ time. First,​ there would be the​ adjustment period. All couples go through that. There is​ a​ saying that you​ only get to​ know the​ person if​ both of​ you​ are living under one roof.

The routine of​ everyday life brings unrealistic expectations. Marital disenchantment comes in​ and it​ is​ expressed shortly just after the​ honeymoon fever wears off. This is​ the​ time when inperfections can be seen. Shortcomings can be blown out of​ proportions. Some eccentric behavior which you​ found “cute” before now becomes annoying. Aside from your own problems as​ a​ couple,​ you​ have to​ deal with in-law relationships,​ money matters,​ and certain conflicts which have become the​ cause of​ your stress and anxiety.

When negative emotions and actions take over,​ it​ becomes the​ perfect recipe for marriage disharmony. Unless you​ become aware of​ your own hurtful attitudes or​ actions,​ chances are,​ you​ won't do something about it. Marriage is​ accepting who that person really is. We only need to​ practice self-control and learn not to​ have so many expectations.

The following tips will show you​ how to​ bring back that “zest” in​ your married life:


1. UNDERSTANDING – We all need reassurance. Reinforce this by showing affection,​ a​ simple praise,​ hug or​ kiss will do. We should learn to​ communicate our feelings to​ our mate. Don't be defensive. When you​ have a​ minor spat...say “I'm sorry.” and really mean it. the​ sooner you​ do this,​ the​ sooner your mate will stop resenting you.

2. LEARN to​ ACCEPT- All marriages go through certain obstacles. the​ one that you​ married turns out not to​ be the​ “angel” that you​ envisioned or​ the​ “knight of​ shining armor.” Real love takes a​ lot of​ patience. So go beyond your illusions on​ what or​ how your mate should be. Rather,​ focus on​ yourself and start to​ make the​ necessary changes needed to​ improve who you​ are as​ a​ spouse.

3. MEET HALFWAY- in​ every situation,​ especially when you​ reach the​ point that you​ are angry,​ hurt,​ and frustrated --- you​ have to​ learn how to​ meet halfway. in​ other words,​ you​ must know how to​ compromise or​ negotiate. No two human beings are exactly alike. So settle your differences and learn to​ forgive each other right away. Don't let the​ sun go down on​ you​ without you​ and your mate finding the​ solution.

4. REKINDLE - How do you​ refresh and fix a​ troublesome marriage? Bring back the​ love and intimacy. Work on​ it. Work on​ your marriage. Like life....marriage is​ not a​ bed of​ roses. you​ have to​ work it​ out with your partner by investing time,​ love,​ money,​ and interest in​ each other. Bring back the​ closeness by being honest,​ non-argumentative,​ and non-judgmental. Being happy together brings good mental health as​ well as​ the​ physical.

Yes,​ you​ and your partner should be on​ top of​ everything,​ be in​ charge of​ keeping the​ romance alive and let your marriage blossom the​ way it​ was meant to​ be.

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