Practical Ways Of Improving Your Self Esteem Part 1

Having a​ low self esteem can arise for​ many and​ complex reasons, and​ different causes may require different remedies. However, there are some common​ themes amongst those who suffer from a​ lack of​ self esteem, and​ alongside them come some partial solutions which, when brought together, may help you​ to​ start increasing your​ self regard. Once you​ start that process, it​ can then become a​ much easier task to​ eliminate your​ low self esteem altogether.

It can sometimes be very difficult to​ view yourself in​ a​ detached and​ critical way, without emotion​ intervening, and​ that is​ especially so if​ your​ self esteem is​ not at​ a​ tolerable level. However, it​ can be a​ great help if​ you​ can devote some initial time in​ self examination, and​ to​ find if​ there is​ a​ pattern to​ your​ feelings. if​ you​ can pinpoint those moments when your​ esteem is, in​ your​ eyes, at​ its lowest, and​ also at​ its highest, you​ will probably find some clues as​ to​ how you​ may improve the way you​ feel.

Something very important to​ remember is​ that, although you​ may not think too highly of​ yourself at​ any one moment, others may see you​ differently and​ more positively. in​ fact, everybody will see you​ from different angles, and​ with different results. you​ are an​ individual, and​ so is​ everyone else; what that means is​ you​ have a​ self image and​ a​ different image to​ everyone else you​ ever meet. That image is​ one you​ make into what you​ want, if​ approached in​ the right way and​ with patience.

How differently you​ may appear to​ others can be quite stunning, when compared to​ the way you​ feel. Once on​ a​ management course I had to​ do a​ mock presentation​ to​ a​ senior executive, based on​ quite a​ large volume of​ reading material. it​ was February in​ England, and​ I had just come back to​ work that day after 2 weeks of​ flu, commuted for​ over 2 hours, and​ felt awful. What was more overwhelming was that my personal life was in​ emotional turmoil, and​ was about all I could think of. I felt dire, but had to​ do the presentation, and​ to​ make it​ worse, have it​ videod and​ then criticised by others on​ the course, plus lecturers.

When I watched that video, sitting with the “jury”, I could not believe I was watching me. I had felt terrible, but came across as​ calm, knowledgeable and​ in​ full control. I never once obviously referred to​ my notes, whereas others had. Yet I knew there were others on​ the course far more able than I.

There are a​ couple of​ lessons that can be learnt from this:

Firstly, I saw for​ the first time how differently you​ may be viewed from outside of​ yourself, and​ it​ is​ always worth bearing in​ mind that others in​ your​ life may be thinking very positively of​ you.

Secondly, what carried me through on​ that occasion​ was simply my memory. My “natural” memory was not good, so when I had first started professional studies, I had bought a​ manual on​ improving memory. That was the only reason​ I could appear so confident to​ others, when I, quite frankly, felt like death warmed up.

What, then, can you​ do with those two lessons? as​ far as​ the way others see you​ is​ concerned, try to​ spend some time focusing on​ the way different people react to​ you, and​ concentrate on​ those who are very positive and​ seem to​ like you, and​ respect you. it​ is​ a​ privilege to​ be liked and​ respected, so you​ are entitled to​ make the most of​ it​ and​ appreciate it. Try to​ see yourself the way they see you. if​ you​ feel happiest with those people, or​ even one of​ them, then try to​ understand​ why. if​ the opportunity arises, have yourself recorded on​ video with these people in​ a​ natural setting, just a​ home video. Better still, make that opportunity arise. Then watch that video and​ learn; see yourself happy and​ at​ your​ height in​ confidence. you​ will not be the person​ you​ feel inside.

if​ you​ find there is​ a​ part of​ your​ life, such as​ work environment, where your​ self esteem is​ lowest, then work on​ building your​ confidence with the aim in​ mind of​ leaving that environment. a​ fresh start with people you​ have never even met before can be an​ ideal time to​ “reinvent” yourself. The important thing, though, is​ to​ make the most of​ the positives in​ your​ current situation, and​ give them greater emphasis. Over time, you​ can work on​ minimising or​ eliminating the negatives.

When it​ comes to​ memory, that is​ a​ skill that can be applied in​ just about any situation. Used discreetly and​ naturally, without showing off, a​ good memory can make a​ very positive impression​ on​ others, and​ enhance your​ own life in​ many ways.

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