Infidelity Discovered 10 Ways To Calm Your Powerful Feelings

Infidelity Discovered 10 Ways To Calm Your Powerful Feelings



When you​ find out about the affair, the first few hours, days and​ weeks can be emotionally wrenching to​ say the least. Or, if​ someone you​ deeply care about begins "pulling away" you​ may also experience intense feelings. Read through this​ list and​ pick out a​ couple things you​ can do to​ help yourself during these times.

1. Walk. Run, if​ you​ are fit enough to​ run. Work out. Get the blood flowing. Physical exercise drains off the adrenaline and​ physically you​ feel better. you​ also think better of​ yourself because you​ are caring for​ you.

2. Talk. if​ you​ typically handle problems by talking them out, find someone who will listen as​ you​ pour out your​ heart. Give them explicit instructions: "I need to​ talk, vent, cry, rage, and​ question. Just look me in​ the eye, nod your​ head and​ listen."

3. Write. Get a​ kitchen timer. Set it​ for​ 5 minutes. Spend that time writing...anything, everything that comes to​ your​ mind. Don't censor. When the bell goes off say to​ yourself, "OK, there it​ is. Now I need to​ get on​ to​ other things. I will come back later and​ write more." Put the writing in​ a​ safe place or​ destroy it.

4. Find a​ safe place and​ spend some time there. Do you​ have a​ favorite lake, wooded area, park, room, chair where you​ feel safe and​ can "get away." Intentionally spend some time there.

5. Use good "self talk." Tell yourself, "you​ are ok. you​ will be ok. this​ too shall pass. What you​ are feeling is​ normal and​ will not destroy you." Develop that "observing part" that can speak to​ your​ turmoil.

6. Pray. Meditate. Use your​ spiritual resources, if​ you​ have them. if​ you​ don't have them, it​ can be a​ good time to​ develop them. Spirituality often affirms your​ worth and​ enables you​ to​ see the larger picture.

7. Be aware. Notice what you​ are thinking, how you​ are feeling and​ what you​ are doing. Pay close attention​ to​ these chunks of​ your​ life. Just noticing often creates distance from the emotional pain.

8. Encourage the rhythm of​ your​ feelings. your​ feelings will come and​ go, often as​ in​ waves. There will be lulls and​ sometimes they crash. Notice the intensity and​ frequency of​ the waves.

9. Get professional help. Supportive therapy might be helpful. Personal and​ professional coaching, often via telephone, is​ a​ helpful phenomenon​ that is​ increasingly popular as​ a​ way to​ find support and​ direction​ for​ specific problems.

10. Gather resources. Start reading, exploring the internet and​ talking to​ people about your​ situation. Believe me, you​ are not alone. Many people have walked your​ path (well, not exactly your​ path, but close) and​ are there to​ offer their understanding and​ point out the bends and​ turns of​ your​ road.




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