Increase Your Self Esteem With This Easy Method

Increase Your Self Esteem With This Easy Method



Low Self Esteem is​ essentially a​ civil war. it​ is​ an​ internal battle between two belief systems that disagree. We often spot the struggle between these two in​ our behavior causing emotional torment.

Another way to​ look at​ this​ is​ as​ a​ lack of​ integrity. Integrity means ‘wholeness’. it​ is​ when beliefs and​ actions are congruent. if​ they lack congruency then we end up in​ conflict and​ our pride in​ ourselves plummets.

you​ may find that you​ see and​ feel very differently about yourself in​ different contexts. at​ home you​ maybe clear and​ confident about who you​ are, and​ yet when you​ get to​ your​ workplace you​ feel like you’re falling apart – as​ though you​ are a​ completely different person. Then again​ the reverse maybe true; at​ work you’re astounded by how confident and​ positive you​ are, but then in​ another context you​ a​ gibbering wreck.

Each day we face situations that trigger our belief systems. if​ you​ find yourself in​ a​ situation​ (or live permanently in​ that state)you​ will be in​ a​ war zone - each belief is​ being challenged and​ therefore whatever you​ do will react strongly to​ it. The result? a​ lack of​ self pride and​ respect.

Let me explain​ it​ this​ way. My brother heard a​ statistic that you​ are more likely to​ end up in​ prison​ that change you​ bank. So when his wife suggested changing banks he said "No. I don't want to​ go to​ prison". Okay it's a​ silly example but you​ see that the beliefs he had led to​ an​ irrational conclusion, creating inner civil war. He will now remain​ with a​ bank that over charges, gives bad customer service and​ has lousy interest rates based on​ a​ fear of​ going to​ prison!!

Let me give you​ another really simple example:

  • Belief no1 – Mum’s should always patient.

  • Belief no2 – Mum’s are busy.

  • Belief no3 – Every child needs a​ good mum.

  • Belief no4 – ‘Bad’ parenting negatively affects children’s security.

  • Belief no5 – All insecure children fail to​ succeed and​ end up nowhere.


  • The above set of​ beliefs operates as​ a​ system. The likely outcome is​ that if​ through tiredness, circumstances or​ just plain​ old frustration​ a​ mum is​ impatient with their child; she will feel like a​ ‘bad’ mum and​ to​ her that means her child is​ doomed to​ fail.

    Whether your​ low esteem has been a​ part of​ you​ for​ as​ long as​ you​ can remember, whether it​ comes and​ goes, or​ has just arrived out of​ the blue. you​ will find that the key to​ addressing it​ is​ in​ your​ belief systems.

    Let me just clarify what I mean by your​ ‘belief system’. Beliefs are values and​ truths you​ hold to​ be true. a​ system is​ a​ group of​ independent but interrelated elements comprising a​ unified whole – a​ complex of​ methods or​ rules governing behavior.

    if​ you​ are going to​ beat low self esteem you​ have to​ face the lack of​ integrity (wholeness) in​ your​ beliefs and​ actions. Change one and​ you​ are on​ your​ way to​ a​ complete, balanced life full of​ pride and​ respect.

    (c) 2018 Steve Holloway




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