Free Tips To Increase Self Esteem

Free Tips To Increase Self Esteem



I have had many confidence issues in​ my life, all of​ which I have either dealt with or​ overcome. I have written about some of​ these issues below.

1. The Bald Patch

2. My height

3. My weight

4. The stutter

5. My lack of​ belief in​ myself

6. My career

THE BALD PATCH

Even though to​ some people it​ may seem trivial, I was born with a​ bald patch the size of​ a​ ten pence piece. as​ I went through childhood and​ especially the teenage years I became more and​ more self-conscious and​ paranoid about it.

It was especially noticeable when it​ rained or​ when I went swimming as​ my hair would become wet. People at​ school would ridicule me and​ I was forever trying to​ hide and​ cover the bald patch even though most people knew about it.

It hurt when people laughed at​ me and​ eventually I stopped going swimming altogether.

MY HEIGHT

Out of​ all of​ my close male family and​ friends, I am the shortest at​ 5ft 4. this​ probably should not influence my confidence however with people continually looking down on​ me it​ did. I have been called many names, the nicest being “Shorty”.

I was always jealous of​ other people taller than I was. I hoped that one day I might have a​ late spurt. this​ never came.

My height affected me with sport. I wanted to​ be a​ striker at​ football however the coaches only wanted people over 6ft tall. at​ snooker I am constantly have to​ use the rest which makes it​ difficult to​ play up to​ the best standard and​ at​ tennis I was constantly being lobbed. it​ also meant that I only felt comfortable dating women 5ft 3 and​ under which reduces the available market considerably.

MY WEIGHT

During senior school I was very thin. this​ may have been the result of​ my parents turning vegetarian when I was twelve. at​ the time there were very few replacement foods and​ it​ seemed as​ though we went from having meat and​ two veg to​ just two veg.

As my parents cooked the food I had little option​ but to​ also turn vegetarian. After a​ few weeks I approached them and​ told them that I missed and​ wanted to​ eat meat. They were understanding to​ a​ degree and​ said:

“if​ you​ want it, you​ cook it”

At this​ age I could only really be bothered to​ cook properly a​ few days of​ the week and​ that gradually became less and​ less.

People at​ school would call me names like skin​ and​ bone and​ my weight became another area of​ paranoia for​ me.

THE STUTTER

At the age of​ four I developed a​ stutter. this​ became gradually worse as​ I became older even though my parents were told that I would grow out of​ it.

for​ what fluent people would class as​ simple tasks like reading from a​ book at​ school, answering questions, saying my name and​ address, ordering items at​ the bar or​ in​ a​ restaurant, and​ speaking on​ the telephone became a​ constant battle.

It was a​ very frustrating impediment, as​ I seemed to​ be able to​ talk quite fluently to​ people I knew well and​ whom I felt comfortable with, but at​ other times especially under any form of​ pressure could not say a​ word.

At the age of​ twenty two after about eleven months of​ sheer hard work and​ practice I managed to​ overcome the stutter and​ I now help other people who stutter to​ achieve fluency as​ well as​ helping people with confidence problems.

MY LACK of​ BELIEF

I always had a​ lack of​ belief in​ certain​ areas.

I would notice a​ female in​ a​ bar for​ example and​ would want to​ go over and​ talk to​ her but would have the negative attitude of​ I’m not good enough, why would she be interested in​ me? I stutter, I have a​ bald patch, I have a​ menial job and​ I am very thin.

Even if​ I approach her and​ am successful, I would then be expected to​ buy her a​ drink, possibly phone her, possibly meet her parents, and​ maybe even get married! The thought of​ attempting these things with a​ stutter and​ with a​ lack of​ social confidence was far too daunting for​ me.

I left school at​ sixteen mainly due to​ a​ lack of​ confidence and​ the stutter, but then had the problem of​ finding a​ job. Again​ my lack of​ belief came shining through. Who would want to​ employ somebody with a​ stutter, who has a​ lack of​ confidence and​ who is​ shy around people?

MY CAREER

After leaving school at​ the age of​ sixteen I now had to​ find employment. Suffering with a​ stutter and​ a​ general lack of​ confidence meant that work involving the phone or​ regular interaction​ with other people were not really an​ option.

I decided that I could probably cope with filing duties in​ an​ office and​ eventually gained a​ position​ at​ an​ insurance company.

I started at​ the lowest grade, a​ grade two and​ the work was routine and​ mundane. The average time to​ stay at​ this​ level before being promoted was six months. The grade three post involved sharing a​ phone and​ this​ is​ something I found very difficult to​ use.

To become upgraded you​ had to​ apply in​ writing to​ the personal officer and​ then if​ you​ passed the interview were then promoted. My attitude was that if​ I don’t apply I would stay as​ a​ grade two, which is​ what I wanted. I was probably the only person​ in​ the country who did not want to​ be promoted.

My boss would ask me at​ regular intervals why I was not applying and​ I would make up an​ excuse. to​ keep him happy I took the insurance exams. After three years I had completed the first qualification​ which was a​ set of​ five exams. to​ my horror my boss congratulated me by stating that he was upgrading me to​ a​ grade three starting Monday without the need of​ an​ interview.

this​ promotion​ should in​ effect have given me a​ confidence boost however with my stutter out of​ control under the pressure and​ some of​ my colleagues mocking me I became more and​ more withdrawn and​ depressed.

I would be invited to​ social events and​ would make up excuses of​ why I could not go as​ I had a​ lack of​ belief that I could cope with the occasion​ and​ all the socialising involved.




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