Vitamin Supplements In A Liquid World

Vitamin Supplements In A Liquid World



Every day,​ it​ seems like we​ are living in​ an​ increasingly liquid world. I'm not preaching against the​ evils of​ alcohol or​ for a​ new era of​ prohibition that will save us from sin and politicians. After all,​ water is​ also a​ liquid,​ and it​ rarely inflicts us with either sin or​ politicians.


But we​ do expect everything to​ be excruciatingly easy these days,​ so liquid is​ the​ operating system of​ choice.


No time to​ eat? Grab a​ liquid breakfast and run. Why tie a​ knot in​ the​ umbilical chord connecting your bed to​ your desk? if​ you can find a​ long enough straw,​ just start slurping as​ you rise from bed,​ and smack your lips to​ the​ last drop as​ you whiz out the​ front door. Bye.


Remember when soap came in​ bars? Solid bars? Sorry,​ I guess I'm showing my age. Now everybody uses liquid soap. Yesterday I reached for the​ soap. No,​ wait. I reached for the​ hand cream. or​ was it​ the​ soap? But what if​ it​ is​ the​ hand cream? Soap or​ hand cream? Which is​ which?


People used to​ nail siding onto the​ exterior of​ their homes. Now they just spray on​ "liquid siding". it​ comes in​ three tasty flavors: siding,​ ceramic and stucco. Yum.


And now they've taken my little vitamin supplement pills and liquefied them,​ too.


"Hold on​ just a​ minute. How do you know they liquefied the​ vitamin pills?"


Who said that?


"Are vitamins naturally solid? or​ are they naturally liquid?"


Uh. I had to​ admit that I probably would not recognize a​ vitamin if​ I bumped into it​ in​ the​ street ... in​ which case I have a​ hunch it​ might be too big to​ swallow. Say,​ who is​ this?


"Where do you think vitamins come from,​ anyway?"


I always assumed they came from the​ back of​ the​ corner store in​ a​ small town in​ Indiana,​ but upon reflection,​ I suspect they might come from oranges and fish and milk. Who are you?


"Don't you think it's pretty hard to​ stuff a​ fish into a​ hard,​ little pill?"


I suppose the​ Voice has a​ point.


"You drink milk,​ don't you?"


Yeah,​ but that's because it's liquid. Suddenly I recalled my dream from just last week. Cow after cow heading into a​ factory on​ a​ conveyor belt. at​ first I though it​ was the​ Annual Bovine Family Reunion,​ but on​ the​ other side of​ the​ factory,​ riding the​ same conveyor belt,​ were neatly sealed cartons of​ milk. Aaargh!


"Squeezed. Like an​ orange. You drink juice,​ don't you?"


Yeah...but squeezing a​ cow?


"Just what do you know about liquid?"


I thought real hard. Everything comes in​ one of​ three states: gas,​ liquid and solid. Gas is​ like the​ politicians when they are talking. Liquid is​ like the​ politicians when they are hard at​ work attending cocktail receptions. Solid is​ like statues of​ politicians.


Everything comes in​ either gas,​ liquid or​ solid. That is​ about all I could remember of​ my high school chemistry. That,​ and how to​ explode a​ partially dissected frog. No,​ wait. That wasn't chemistry class. Silly me. Why would we​ have a​ partially dissected frog in​ chemistry class. That was that other class. What was it​ called,​ again? Oh yes,​ "home economics".


"Did the​ frog contain vitamins?"


Not any more.


"Do you think it's easier to​ pack vitamins into a​ tiny,​ hard pill or​ into a​ drink?"


I suppose it​ all depends on​ what kind of​ explosive you use. I tried to​ imagine squeezing a​ fish into a​ carton. But fish walking up a​ conveyor belt seemed just a​ bit radical ... and even less tasty than freshly squeezed cow. Besides,​ I might need to​ buy fishing gear to​ get my milk...er...fish juice from the​ carton.


"Liquid vitamin supplements are made only from plant ingredients."


That's it. Keep your cow. Keep your fish. Keep your frog...what's left of​ it. I'm going to​ for a​ pure liquid life.


My only question now is: Which one is​ the​ soap,​ and which one is​ the​ hand cream? And which one is​ my liquid vitamin supplement? I don't want to​ drink the​ soap by mistake.





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