Self Serving Letters And Emails

Self Serving Letters And Emails



Self-Serving Letters and Emails
Much of​ business involves inducing people to​ do what we want them to​ do .​
Whether it​ is​ to​ sign a​ proposal, return a​ call, set up an​ appointment, provide information or​ pay a​ bill, we are constantly nudging.
In business, to​ exist you must persist .​
But what happens if​ your nudgee is​ flat-out unresponsive? Can you still advance your agenda?
In many cases you can .​
Execute a​ classical Poingo inversion, top it​ off with a​ half-gainer and a​ solid plant at​ the end, and you've got your deal.
In English that means to​ look for opportunities to​ invert the situation wherein the inaction, rather than the action of​ your nugdee prompts the furtherance of​ your cause.
Your answer may be a​ self-serving letter or​ email .​
Example:
Your customer ordered a​ load of​ snipe bracelets, but now that you have them and are ready to​ deliver, you can't get a​ returned phone call .​
After a​ few attempts, move into self-serving mode.
Leave a​ phone message, followed by a​ letter and an​ email which essentially says this:
Self Serving Message (paraphrased)
Hello my esteemed customer, bringer of​ light and feeder of​ my children .​
I​ have spent a​ few seconds of​ my unworthy life calling to​ bring you excellent news about the arrival of​ your magnificent snipe bracelets.
Alas, all which has occurred to​ date is​ that I​ have has the distinct pleasure of​ hearing the music of​ your voice on your voicemail machine.
But now I​ must plan on your behalf, to​ ensure that your valuable merchandise arrives in​ time for the upcoming Accoutrement' de Snipe convention .​
I​ will take it​ upon myself to​ defend your interests, my friend, and deliver your valuables this Friday at​ 3PM.
If for any reason you need to​ modify this plan, please call me before end of​ day Thursday so I​ can best meet your expectations.
Sucking Up
You may have noticed a​ certain Alladin-like obsequiousness to​ this message .​
Good catch! You are basically ramrodding your customer .​
At least be nice about it .​
Remember what Mary Poppins said about the spoonful of​ sugar helping the medicine go down .​
Frame your actions within a​ context of​ the customer's best interest.
Multi Media Approach
Remember, I​ suggested a​ call, a​ letter and an​ email .​
Each additional medium of​ communication reduces the ability of​ your customer to​ ignore you .​
Where appropriate, you may also use smoke signals and carrier pidgeons .​
Tatoos on prominent body parts can also be effective.
Don't Hurt Yourself
Use self-serving communications sparingly .​
Even more important, don't overreach:
Hello my most wonderful customer whose radiance shares the skies with the great deities while his feet bless the Earth with their touch .​
I​ surmise that in​ your greatness you may have overlooked signing the contract I​ have humbly offered.(so far, so good)
Knowing that you will soon be wanting the 7 shipping containers filled with the finest New Zealand Kiwi fruits we discussed, I​ am ordering their placement on the next barge coming your way .​
They will be nicely ripe when they arrive .​
I​ am confident that when you inhale the fragrance of​ these delicacies, you will immediately sign the contract and accept delivery.




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