Ideas And Programs On Moral Education

Ideas And Programs On Moral Education



How to​ instill confidence in​ children?

Fragment from the​ methodology of​ the​ PROJECT Kind Child:
Educational books for​ children: a​ unique approach
to Education




LESSONS ON VIRTUES
What parents should not do:
There is​ no set formula on how to​ raise children. Each child is​ different.

Each child is​ unique, so Parent's relationships with their children are

unique. There are things which are counter productive when talking with a​

child. it​ is​ question of​ what parents should not do under any condition.
If we want to​ bring up the​ child with a​ good understanding of​ moral values

and a​ good discipline, we, must first develop the​ child's consciousness, to​

do it's best in​ the​ task to​ generate in​ the​ child's mind the​ positive image

of his/her self. and​ we must avoid anything that can destroy this positive

image.
Unfortunately, out of​ ignorance, anger, annoyance, irritation and​ sometimes

desperation parents use lawful methods in​ raising their children.
As we remember the​ commandment “Thou shall not sin” so too we should remember

to avoid using any of​ the​ following methods:



DO NOT MAKE NEGATIVE COMMENTS to​ HUMILIATE the​
CHILD
Sometimes we question the​ child: "How this idea did come to​ your mind? Can

you do anything better?
Do you have a​ head on your shoulders etc? Every time we make a​ negative

comment to​ the​ child we erode his/her confidence.



DO NOT THREATEN
Sometimes we say: "If you do this again - you will receive from me!" or​ "if

you kick your little brother, I will kick you too!" Each time when we

threaten the​ child, we, without realizing,
teaching him to​ become afraid of​ us or​ even hate us. Threats are absolutely

useless - they do not improve the​ behavior of​ the​ child.



DO NOT EXTORT PROMISES
The sequence of​ such actions at​ times happens to​ be like this: the​ child has

done something what he was not supposed to​ do. Imagine, mum tells him: "

Please, promise me now, that you will never do it​ again." in​ response she,

certainly, receives the​ promise. and​ half an​ hour later the​ child will repeat

the same action. Mum is​ offended and​ upset:
"You have promised! Why did you do it​ then? Why?"
But she does not know that a​ promise means nothing to​ a​ small child. the​

promise, as​ well as​ the​ threat, is​ more relevant in​ the​ future. But the​ child

lives only in​ the​ present. if​ he is​ sensitive and​ conscientious, exhortation

of promises will develop in​ the​ child the​ own fault syndrome each time he/she

breaks the​ promise. if​ he is​ not sensitive, it​ will teach him cynicism:
when the​ words and​ reality differs from each other.



DO NOT SPONSOR UNDULY (excessively)
It belittles the​ child in​ his own eyes. Excessive trusteeship gives him the​

idea, that he cannot do anything. Many parents underestimate the​ ability of​

the child to​ do something independently. it​ is​ necessary to​ accept as​ the​

motto: "Never do for​ the​ child what he can do for​ himself ".



DO NOT SPEAK TOO MUCH .
Unduly long explanations mean to​ the​ child: "You are not capable of​

understanding simple things,
so listen, I shall explain to​ you".



DO NOT DEMAND IMMEDIATE OBEDIENCE
Imagine your husband tells you: "Dear, leave everything and​ prepare for​ me a​

cup of​ coffee this!" Would you like this demand? in​ the​ same way it​ is​ not

pleasant to​ your child for​ anyone
to demand things from him. We, at​ least, should give him in​ advance notice; "

In ten-fifteen minutes we are having dinner together” We expect him to​

protect a​ little: "Oh, mums, I'm still.
Playing!" Unconditional submission is​ appropriate for​ a​ puppet, but it​ does

not help in​ creation of​ an​ independent mind.



DO NOT PAMPER the​ CHILD
In this case it​ is​ a​ question of​ permissiveness. the​ child will feel that the​

parents are afraid to​ be firm in​ observance of​ borders, that they are afraid

to say "no". it​ instills confidence in​ the​ child, that all rules are not firm

(a rubber-kind) – they will stretch just under a​ little of​
pressure. it​ can work within the​ home, but outside of​ the​ home bitter

disappointments await such a​ child. to​ indulge the​ child, you deprive him the​

opportunity to​ grow into a​ person who can
adapt in​ any situation.



BE CONSISTENT in​ YOUR RULES
For example, On Saturday mum is​ in​ a​ good mood and​ thus allows her child to​

break all rules (or some of​ the​ rules). But on Monday when the​ child does the​

same thing, she "leans on him, like a​
ton of​ bricks (i.e. she reprimand, scorn etc)." Imagine yourself in​ the​ place

of this child. How well would you learn to​ drive a​ car, if​ on Monday, Tuesday

and. Thursday red light means "

stop", and​ on Wednesday, Friday and​ Saturday – means “go”? Consistency is​

necessary for​ the​ child. He should know what he should expect. Confusion in​

following the​ rules (allow this one
day and​ forbid the​ same on another day) does not promote good discipline, on

the contrary it​ confuses the​ child and​ he won't know what to​ expect from his

parents next time.



DO NOT MORALIZE
It instills a​ feeling of​ fault in​ the​ child and​ helps to​ develop a​ negative

self-image. All of​ morals finally are reduced to​ one for​ the​ child: What you

have done is​ bad. You are bad because
you did this. How could you do such a​ bad thing after doing so many good ones?

Reprimanding and​ critisizing children on a​ regular basis decreases the​ child'

s self worth. if​ one were to​ tape all the​ criticism on a​ recorder and​ then

play it​ back
to the​ parents, they would be amazed. There are so many inappropriate words

and methods they use in​ speaking with the​ children! They will hear the​
threats, sneers, constant grumbling, and​ certainly, moral lectures.

Scientifically it​ is​ proven, that under such ‘strain' the​ child becomes ‘

disconnected' (doesn't pay attention anymore). it​ is​ his unique way of​

defense which he quickly masters. Certainly, the​ child cannot
be disconnected completely and​ eventually feels guilty.



DO NOT DEMAND THINGS THAT is​ INAPPROPRIATE for​ the​ AGE of​ the​ CHILD
Do not expect a​ two-year-old child to​ obey the​ same like a​ five year old.
This instill in​ the​ child, feelings of​ hostility toward you. You demand from

him mature behavior which he is​ not capable of​ understanding. This will badly

affect the​ development of​ his
consciousness.


With respect,
Authors
www.KindBook.com





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