How To Survive Losing A Spouse

How To Survive Losing A Spouse

One of​ the​ worst things that can happen in​ life is​ losing a​ spouse. How do I know? it​ happened to​ me—and in​ the​ prime of​ my life…

When it​ happens, many thoughts and​ emotions whiz through your mind…

Only four months earlier, my husband and​ I had completed a​ Christian counseling course. One of​ the​ major topics addressed was how to​ deal with grief…

Now I was living it.

It is​ true that there are natural steps we go through in​ the​ grief process. the​ timing and​ length of​ each step is​ different for​ each person.

The good news is​ that you can and​ will get through this sad time in​ your life. Here are some practical tips to​ help you adjust:

* You just lost the​ one person who cared most for​ your personal needs. Therefore, even if​ you are a​ person who puts others’ needs ahead of​ your own, this is​ the​ one time in​ your life to​ put your needs at​ the​ forefront.

* Specifically, that means getting enough rest, exercise and​ eating healthy.

* You may find that you have no appetite—eat anyway. Instead, you may find that you want to​ drown your sorrow by overeating, taking alcohol or​ drugs, etc.—don’t. They are not the​ solution. You will only end up in​ deeper pain.

* Walking is​ a​ great exercise, which adds beneficial fresh air and​ sunshine to​ boost your mood. it​ also helps you feel reconnected to​ life; don’t ask me how, it​ just does. and​ studies have shown it​ is​ the​ best therapy for​ sleep disturbances (which you may experience).

* You may feel like declining invitations to​ go out with family and​ friends. I recommend outings with just one person at​ first, which is​ easier to​ handle.

* Gatherings with couples and​ larger groups of​ family and​ friends will naturally intensify your feeling of​ loss. However, as​ you face these situations one at​ a​ time, at​ your own pace, you’ll grow stronger and​ be on your way to​ healing.

* Sometimes you will take three steps forward, and​ one or​ two back. That’s OK.

* Find one person that allows you to​ talk freely about your spouse as​ much as​ you need to. And/or journal your memories of​ your loved one and​ express the​ pain you are going through from losing them.

* Acknowledge the​ pain of​ not being a​ couple. Being suddenly single is​ the​ pits!

* Realize that no one can replace your spouse.

* at​ the​ same time there is​ a​ tendency to​ put your spouse on a​ pedestal. it​ is​ helpful to​ remember his/her flaws too. in​ spite of​ that fact, they were a​ person worth receiving your love. Therefore, there remain other people or​ other causes worth your time, attention, and​ love.

* Acknowledge that things will never be the​ same again…and that you will always miss your spouse. Doing so, frees you up to​ live a​ new life and​ love again, if​ you chose.

Sadly, death is​ a​ difficult part of​ life. Some people’s attempt to​ comfort you may be quite feeble.

But if​ you can see their effort as​ a​ way of​ reaching out to​ you, instead of​ being hurt you will be grateful.

Following these steps will help you cope in​ the​ days ahead, and​ they will help you heal.

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