Christian Sex 7 Barriers To Fulfilling Married Sexuality

Christian Sex 7 Barriers To Fulfilling Married Sexuality

Many Christian married couples have yet to​ experience a​ fulfilling sexuality. Yet,​ it​ is​ an​ essential ingredient for a​ vital Christian marriage. Here are 7 barriers to​ a​ fun and fulfilling lovemaking for Christian married couples

1. Not knowing what God says about sex

The first commandment God gave was to​ engage in​ sex (Genesis 1: 27-28.) God had just created humanity in​ His image,​ commanded them to​ be “fruitful and multiply”,​ and then commented “it was good” (Genesis 1:31.) Somehow,​ it​ seems like this was a​ priority for Adam and Eve.

2. Talking very little with your spouse about sexuality or​ your preferences.

When couples can share with their spouse about sexuality or​ their sexual preferences,​ intimacy is​ created. an​ emotional bond results from the​ intimate level of​ vulnerability on​ a​ conversational level. a​ great place to​ start talking about sex is​ to​ share what lovemaking means to​ you emotionally,​ how frequent you would like to​ have sex,​ and even times of​ the​ day or​ specific days.

3. Engaging out of​ obligation,​ rather than enjoyment

Many believe sex was solely intended for procreation,​ rather than recreation. to​ the​ contrary,​ the​ poetic references in​ the​ Song of​ Solomon describe lovemaking that is​ enjoyable and anticipated. Feel free to​ have some fun with sex with different positions and places. However,​ all must be with respect for your spouse’s considerations. I Corinthians 1:4 states that our bodies belong to​ our mates,​ not just us. it​ is​ written from a​ spirit of​ equality,​ where both spouses are to​ serve one another,​ rather than one controlling the​ other. For one spouse to​ force the​ other into sexual behaviors without consent is​ abusive.

4 Failure to​ plan

Many couples,​ Christians especially,​ are sexually frustrated. While some of​ this may be attributed to​ different sexual appetites,​ much more is​ a​ result of​ infrequency. Sex is​ never convenient,​ but is​ critical to​ a​ vital relationship. Plan for sex like you would any other appointment. Rather than thinking of​ this as​ stale,​ consider that it​ allows you and your spouse time to​ plan for the​ special time together. Planning also alleviates any concerns for sexual deprivation and sexual pressure.

5. Using sex as​ a​ reward or​ punishment

Sex is​ often used as​ a​ reward for some positive behavior. or​ it​ can be withheld when one spouse is​ angry with the​ other. Couples sabotage themselves when their sex life becomes a​ bartering system. Because of​ its vulnerability,​ lovemaking must be unconditional to​ be meaningful. Find other ways to​ thank your spouse,​ and healthy ways to​ overcome your resentments.

6. Unresolved sexual abuse issues

Sexual abuse issues follow spouses into marriage. Victims of​ sexual abuse may have an​ aversion to​ lovemaking,​ or​ experience painful reminders of​ the​ past. For some,​ there may be a​ distortion of​ healthy sexuality. if​ you have been wounded from sexual abuse,​ realize that you did nothing to​ deserve this. Furthermore,​ there is​ hope. I encourage you to​ find a​ counselor that specializes in​ this area,​ and begin the​ road to​ recovery. it​ is​ one thing to​ survive sexual abuse,​ and another to​ overcome it.

7. po​rnography

The most significant destructive force to​ a​ healthy sex life is​ po​rnography. And yes,​ I am talking about Christian marriages. Images are burned into a​ person’s mind,​ thereby creating an​ insatiable thirst for more erotic behavior,​ or​ harmful behaviors. Some couples have stated the​ use of​ po​rnography enhances their sex life. I disagree. Not only is​ it​ degrading,​ but it​ fosters empty relationships by focusing on​ the​ physical rather than love. if​ your marriage has been affected by po​rnography,​ find a​ qualified counselor to​ help you rebuild the​ intimacy in​ your marriage.

In my experience as​ a​ Christian counselor,​ a​ lot of​ confusion exists amongst married couples regarding a​ healthy Christian sex life. the​ reality is​ that God has given sex as​ a​ gift for married couples to​ embrace rather than tolerate,​ or​ misuse. So much of​ today’s culture promotes a​ contaminated view of​ sex. as​ Christians,​ let’s change our culture by strengthening our marriages with a​ healthy Christian sexuality

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