Child Victim To Survivor

Child Victim To Survivor

Child Victim to​ Survivor!

The innocence of​ a​ child, will not allow their mind to​ comprehend what terror is​ being put upon them during abuse. They can no more think killing their abuser than they can a​ fly. it​ worsens when the​ child knows the​ abuser, because they have a​ love and​ trust that is​ so innocent, they cannot mistrust. This is​ where the​ confusion is​ set deep into their psyche, causing them to​ have conflicts with feelings throughout their life. in​ place of​ learning love through hugs and​ smiles, they are taught love through sexual abuse and​ threats. They have already learnt that the​ world is​ not safe. Children quickly learn through instinct to​ remove their minds from their bodies. They also can manipulate their bodies to​ go numb in​ order to​ not feel any physical contact with the​ abuser. Abused children are also taught to​ mistrust any form of​ verbal love and​ appreciation.

The abuser will tell them things like, "Daddy loves you and​ wants to​ show you how much", or​ " I am teaching you what daddy’s teach their daughters so that you will grow up and​ know how to​ be a​ good woman".

So much deception and​ lies from someone that a​ child holds dear to​ their heart. to​ doubt their abuser when it​ is​ their father, only makes them feel like a​ bad child. They know that their father wants them to​ love them and​ smile for​ them. This makes daddy happy. it​ is​ what every child is​ naturally driven to​ do. They thrive on their parents smiles and​ happy feelings. This is​ the​ exact thing that an​ abuser takes advantage of​ and​ also poisons through the​ abuse they inflict on the​ child.

The child will also think in​ two identities if​ the​ abuser is​ her father or​ her uncle. She will think simply in​ two parts. Good daddy, bad daddy. This helps her to​ keep her good daddy image safe, where he is​ suppose to​ be. the​ second daddy will be a​ figure in​ a​ bad dream, not real to​ her world at​ all. a​ child may turn to​ drawing pictures of​ her good daddy and​ bad daddy. or​ write very obscure, negative, even offensive poems or​ stories. These are true signs and​ most certainly cries for​ help. Please do not ever underestimate the​ power of​ the​ pen. it​ will either be a​ cry for​ help from someone that cannot use words, or​ it​ could be the​ key to​ ones doors of​ healing.

When the​ abuser is​ a​ family member, this factor alone robs the​ child of​ what would be known as​ a​ safe nest. the​ child will never know what a​ healthy role model is. Nor will this child ever have the​ experience of​ innocent nurturing. Unless this child through years of​ growth, learns to​ identify with their abuser and​ confront the​ abuse, their healing will never begin. Without this inner healing and​ peace, one is​ likely to​ repeat this horrible act of​ abuse that they were lead to​ believe to​ be a​ common practice in​ parenting.

Victims have no choice but to​ survive. if​ they do not commit suicide, they learn to​ cope. I have mentioned in​ another article that some use drugs, alcohol, food, cutting ones self and​ even sex. These are common coping strategies. NO they are not good ones, but for​ most of​ the​ victims that choose that road, it's the​ better of​ the​ two evils.

Other victims choose to​ forget it​ ever happened, down play the​ abuse or​ rationalize it​ as​ if​ it​ were nothing more than a​ simple hug or​ touch. They even go as​ far as​ excusing their abusers actions or​ temper, saying the​ was drunk or​ too stressed out from working. Victims will even try to​ understand and​ feel sorrow for​ their abusers. Anything to​ not accuse them and​ have to​ deal with the​ confusion of​ the​ why’s. Some even become so withdrawn into themselves, fearing that they may talk too much, or​ give a​ clue to​ someone about their nightmare. Then all their shame will be seen. So they choose silence instead of​ risk.

Denial is​ another way around facing the​ reality. But denial has a​ way of​ twisting around and​ returning with a​ vengeance. to​ not allow your pain to​ come up front so you can deal with it, only gives it​ more time to​ grow inside of​ you and​ get a​ stronger hold of​ your mind. Reality and​ fantasy will also get confused at​ this point. People will confuse your actions and​ words with mental illness. Then not only will you have your abuser to​ contend with, but now others will be trying to​ force you into another victim situation. Yes, you have done whatever it​ took to​ survive this horrible abuse, so now rise above it. it​ was nothing more than a​ cause and​ effect battle. a​ battle that you have over come!

I continue to​ show you patterns that are caused by neglecting yourself and​ allowing yourself to​ be totally absorbed by an​ action that was NEVER in​ your control. Now it​ is​ in​ your control. Now you can do something about it. SO, what are you waiting for? FIGHT!!!! Fight like you are trying to​ save the​ life of​ someone dear to​ you. Fight like a​ master and​ use your power to​ say, "Go to​ hell". Scream this as​ loud as​ you can, "I see you, I hear you and​ I will not allow you to​ abuse me any longer!" You must feel the​ freedom that comes with this new fight that is​ awakening inside you. Once the​ fight is​ over, you will live a​ new life. a​ new book has just been written.

You are FREE! Free to​ Live, Love and​ Laugh!!


I am ready.

I am now.

I can.

I will.

-David Viscott


I accept what I am,


how I got here

-David Viscott

Dorothy Lafrinere

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