Avoid Home Buying Blues At Closing

Avoid Home Buying Blues at​ Closing
Buying a​ home is​ a​ stressful and emotional affair .​
You can avoid the home buying blues by keeping your cool at​ closing .​
I've just come from a​ settlement table at​ which a​ friend bought a​ new condo .​
It's beautiful, convenient and just what she wanted .​
However, at​ the settlement table she and a​ relative whom she clearly loves got into a​ tiff with each other .​
What should have been a​ happy occasion was almost spoiled .​
Thank heavens they got themselves together and the situation was saved, but arguments and hurt feelings are frequent at​ settlement tables and on moving day .​
It doesn't have to​ be that way.
The Trauma of​ Change
Changing one's home is​ right up there with the big changes in​ life - birth, death, divorce, and retirement .​
Most of​ us recognize the trauma of​ the first three .​
Many of​ us recognize the need to​ prepare mentally and emotionally for retirement .​
Few of​ us realize how badly buying and moving into a​ new home frays our nerves and shortens our tempers .​
It can have serious consequences .​
I've seen deals blow up, and almost blow up, because of​ it .​
(Sometimes the protagonists are the buyer and seller.)
Mitigating Moves
There are a​ number of​ things you can do to​ ensure that the day you buy or​ sell your home is​ calm, sane and happy .​
Let's consider some of​ them .​
Some are easy .​
Some harder .​
You're apt to​ think of​ some which will be unique to​ you and your family.
First of​ all, simply realizing that these are flash points and discussing it​ with family members is​ a​ good starting point .​
There are many decisions to​ be made and much work to​ be done .​
Life is​ about to​ change for everyone who is​ a​ party to​ the process .​
It helps to​ just acknowledge that you'll need to​ work together so that it's a​ good experience for everyone in​ the end .​
Remember the expression, I​ need to​ take a​ deep breath and get my equilibrium back .​
Clue in​ family members when you feel the tension rise.
Get a​ good night's sleep the night before the settlement .​
Have a​ good, unrushed breakfast .​
Have someone you know well look after small children and pets until after settlement; you don't need distractions during a​ large financial transaction.
At settlement, ask questions about anything you don't understand .​
Use a​ quiet, neutral voice .​
Don't sound like you are accusing someone of​ something .​
Simply ask for information and clarity .​
Don't feel rushed .​
Take the time to​ understand .​
Many of​ the arguments I've seen at​ the settlement table happened because someone assumed something and didn't ask about it .​
They just pitched into an​ irritated tirade .​
Not a​ good idea.
What if​ your questions turn up an​ unexpected and unacceptable answer? Let it​ be known that you expected it​ to​ be handled another way and why .​
Listen to​ any explanation calmly .​
Evaluate it .​
Does the other person have a​ valid point? How much difference does it​ make to​ you? Remember, it​ isn't necessary to​ have everything exactly as​ you'd like in​ order to​ have the transaction go well for you .​
Keep the big picture in​ mind .​
You don't have to​ be right about everything, nor do you have to​ win every point in​ order to​ be pleased with the final outcome.
Whether you call it​ settlement or​ closing, the final meeting will be stressful even if​ absolutely everything goes perfectly .​
Make sure you get through it​ by minimizing the stress.

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