A Mans Guide To The Embarrassment Of Buying Lingerie

A Man’s Guide To The Embarrassment of​ Buying Lingerie
Lets face it, we men are obsessed with women’s bodies and ​ yet if ​ I ​ needed to tell someone the size of​ her breasts the best I ​ could probably muster would be just about right and ​ if ​ she were to ask me right now what her dress size was I ​ would probably mutter that it​ didn’t make her bum look big at ​ all. ​
This is in part due to my everpresent attempt to gain brownie points and ​ not spend the night sleeping in the kitchen with the dog, but it​ is in one big part due to my ignorance. ​
Ask her what size my waist is and ​ she could tell you without a​ second’s hesitation. ​
it​ really isn’t that difficult to find out this information either and ​ the list of​ instructions on how to find out would consist solely of
1 Open cupboard door.
2 Remove appropriate garment.
3 Check label and ​ make mental note of​ size.
Even my brain could cope with that first thing in the morning but despite telling myself I ​ should do it​ I ​ never actually remember to. ​
This could partially be because there is something instilled in the back of​ my brain that tells me the second I ​ remove her bra and ​ start ferreting around inside it, her mother is bound to burst down the front door unannounced and ​ catch me in the act of​ apparently sniffing, or​ worse still putting on, her beloved daughter’s bra. ​
This really isn’t a​ situation I ​ want to find myself in but if ​ I ​ want to please her my partner, not her mother then I ​ should do it. ​
In fact, every man should do it. ​
Go to your wife or​ girlfriend’s closet and ​ find out her bra size. ​
Write it​ on a​ piece of​ paper and ​ secrete it​ in your wallet if ​ necessary.
Of course, even once I ​ know the size of​ her bra that doesn’t make the actual selection any easier. ​
as​ a​ general rule of​ thumb, I’m led to believe that a​ black latex nurse’s outfit is not considered to be either lingerie or​ indeed comfortable so I ​ will try to steer clear of​ that as​ far as​ possible, no matter how appealing they look. ​
I ​ will try my utmost to ensure that whatever I ​ buy will not only please me but will make my partner feel sexy as​ well. ​
This should imply that she will be able to move comfortably and ​ bits don’t poke out when she lifts an arm or​ tries to sit down, or​ more importantly lie down. ​

Visiting any shop that has lingerie in is bound to be a​ big deal the first time I ​ try it​ but I’m a​ grown man and ​ I ​ should be able to cope. ​
The sales assistant probably won’t think that the stuff I ​ buy is for me unless I ​ say something embarrassingly stupid and ​ wear fake breasts. ​
In fact, there’s a​ very good chance she’s dealt with people like me, and ​ people like you, on a​ fairly regular basis. ​
You know, the kind of​ person who skulks around by the knickers looking around shiftily and ​ sweating a​ lot. ​
In fact, come to think of​ it, it’s probably best if ​ I ​ don’t do that, and ​ just head straight over to her instead. ​
She will probably be very helpful.
I saw a​ sign in a​ lingerie shop that I ​ passed three times the other day and ​ it​ said they would gift wrap the item. ​
I ​ decided there and ​ then that if ​ I ​ ever built up the courage to go in the shop and ​ actually buy any lingerie, instead of​ keep walking past it, I ​ would definitely take advantage of​ that offer. ​
I ​ think being confronted by me carrying a​ Christmas cracker wrapped present and ​ a​ proud smile like your son or​ daughter gets the first time they pee on their own would probably detract from the overall romanticism of​ the gesture. ​
Besides, I ​ wouldn’t have to carry it​ home in a​ way that meant others might be able to see what I’d bought.
I can’t wait to finally see her wearing the new lingerie I ​ buy. ​
I ​ guess the only thing that’s left to do now is actually find out her size and ​ go and ​ buy something appropriate, that is not a​ latex nurse’s outfit.

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