8 Reasons Why You Should Email Me One Dollar

8 Reasons Why You Should Email Me One Dollar
Paypal has made it​ possible to​ quickly and easily send money over the Internet .​
This allows us to​ pay for all kinds of​ purchases with a​ lot less hassle .​
It also will allow you, everyone who reads this article, to​ send me, Timothy Ward, $1.00 .​
Being the cynics that you are, I​ know you're probably asking: Why should I​ send you $1.00? I​ barely even know you .​
If I​ hadn't somehow stumbled onto this article I​ wouldn't even have known that you exist .​
I​ still don't know how I​ came across this ridiculous article, I​ was trying to​ find my brother-in-law's blog.
Since I​ know that humanoids are by nature untrusting, and I​ know that you can spare the dollar, I​ will now generously provide 8 reasons why you should immediately paypal me a​ buck .​
I​ don't think I'll need more than 5 reasons but I​ like to​ give people their money's worth .​
Plus I​ have a​
(1) Sending me $1.00 will keep you from spending it​ on something pointless like the mortgage payment .​
You've been faithfully paying on that mortgage for years-it's time you had a​ break .​
And it'll only cost you a​ single greenback.
(2) Donating to​ a​ worthy cause can give you peace of​ mind which, in​ turn, will help you to​ sleep better at​ night .​
Giving me a​ dollar may not be as​ worthy a​ cause as, say, giving to​ the Red Cross, but I​ promise I​ will sleep better tonight and many nights thereafter if​ you send me that dollar.
(3) If I​ were sitting in​ front of​ a​ gas station smelling of​ cheap wine and wearing the same clothes I​ had on when I​ lost my job 8 months ago, you wouldn't even consider giving me a​ dollar .​
You would probably tell me to: Get a​ Job, ya bum, and then rapidly walk away, clutching your wallet tightly .​
I, however, am not sitting in​ front of​ a​ gas station, I'm sitting in​ front of​ my television .​
And I​ changed clothes 2 days ago.
(4) I​ need to​ buy some Bling Bling! You're just not in​ the game if​ you don't have diamonds in​ your ears and ice on your neck and wrists .​
Plus I​ know a​ guy who'll give me a​ great deal on some gold teeth .​
But I​ need more cheese.
(5) Many great artist in​ history have depended on donations to​ finance their masterpieces .​
Your sending me $1.00 will allow me to​ do the necessary research for a​ masterpiece of​ an​ article that I'm working on called: 'Going Out on Saturday Night and Getting Sloppy Drunk Using Other People's Money' .​
I'll be sure to​ acknowledge you at​ the end.
(6) Fellas, would you rather send me a​ dollar or​ have your wife spent it​ on yet another pair of​ black heels? Ladies, would you rather your husbands spend it​ on another one of​ those magazines that he keeps in​ that box in​ his workshop? I​ thought not.
(7) Time is​ money .​
You're already wasting money by taking time to​ read this article .​
Another George Washington won't kill you.
(8) The pens and paper I​ use to​ write these articles don't pay for themselves .​
My high speed internect connection that I​ use to​ upload these articles isn't free .​
I​ don't think $1.00 is​ too much to​ ask after the scores of​ articles I​ have written and shared with all of​ cyberspace .​
After all, if​ it​ wasn't for my articles you wouldn't appreciate the good articles written by others.
So there you have it​ folks .​
8 reasons to​ send me $1.00 via Paypal .​
As I​ suspected most of​ you were sold after Reason #5 .​
I​ appreciate you waiting patiently until I​ finished with the remaining Reasons before rushing over to​ Paypal.com .​
Now that I​ have finished listing my reasons feel free to​ login and send your $1.00 to​ wailinward@yahoo.com .​
And please hurry, the guy with the gold teeth isn't going to​ have those great deals forever...

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