4 Psychological Needs Help Deal With Conflict

4 Psychological Needs Help Deal With Conflict



Internal conflict, conflict within yourself, reflects the difference between what you really feel and what you are able or​ choose to​ do about it. Interpersonal conflict occurs between you and another person when what they do or​ say is​ different to​ what you feel and vice-versa.

Everyone has four basic psychological needs. These are the need to​ be valued, to​ be in​ control, the need for self esteem or​ self worth, and lastly the need for consistency or​ stability.

1. The need to​ be valued or​ appreciated by others is​ a​ basic psychological requirement

You want others to​ recognize your worth and appreciate your contributions. You are more motivated when your contributions are recognized. When you feel unappreciated, taken advantage of, or​ taken for granted your need to​ be appreciated and valued has been violated and this can trigger a​ response of​ fear, anger or​ frequently both.

2. The need to​ be in​ control

Being in​ control is​ important for everyone, but more for some than others. The more insecure you feel about yourself, the more controlling you may become. On the other hand, if​ you feel secure and confident about yourself, then your need to​ control others will reduce.

Whenever you have to​ deal with an​ over controlling person remember their need to​ control comes from their insecurity. Make them feel secure and their need to​ control will normally reduce.

3. The need for self esteem and self worth

By this I mean you should appreciate yourself and look to​ your strengths rather than any weakness (we all have both). a​ strong self esteem gives you a​ powerful, solid base for dealing with all types of​ problems and situations.

With a​ strong self esteem, you have the ability to​ positively respond or​ react to​ any type of​ situation, rather than reacting negatively by panicking of​ avoiding the potential conflict.

4. The need to​ be consistent

You need to​ know what is​ likely to​ happen in​ any given situation. You need consistency from family, partners, friends, everyone in​ your life otherwise you are always anxious about the unexpected.

This is​ not to​ say that no-one can change their minds but someone who changes opinions or​ reacts differently to​ the same situation brings a​ level of​ insecurity in​ to​ your life and you never know how to​ react.

The reason some people feel the need to​ change comes from their insecurity. They are insecure in​ themselves so they try to​ fit in​ with others all the time and will agree with whoever they feel is​ the most dominant personality.

Whenever any of​ these needs are not met conflicts, internal, external or​ both, are produced and people usually react in​ one of​ four ways.

They can retaliate, dominate, isolate, or​ cooperate.

Retaliation and domination can result in​ extreme violence. Isolation separates the parties but does not resolve the conflict whereas with cooperation one party allows their feelings to​ be ignored and accepts the opinion of​ another over their own.

If you are aware of​ these basic needs and reactions you will begin to​ understand how and why you and others react the way you do. Considering these needs, understanding them and acting upon them will make you a​ more complete and therefore a​ more confident person and will give you strength at​ times of​ conflict.




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