22 Ways To Get Through The Family Get Together And Survive

22 Ways To Get Through The Family Get Together And Survive

I was asked recently “HELP. My mother is​ planning a​ family get together for​ her birthday. We all get on individually but when we are together, by the​ end of​ the​ night there are generally fallouts and​ I am anticipating another disaster. Mum will be offended if​ I don’t go. Can you help me manage this situation so that she is​ not offended and​ I can perhaps feel less tense about going?”

Sound familiar? Yes. We’ve all been to​ them and​ unfortunately many of​ us will tend to​ recall the​ bad memories as​ opposed to​ the​ positive ones.

I have put down some thoughts about how you could make this less tedious for​ yourself.

1. You could try making the​ get together brief. Perhaps reminding others in​ the​ family that when you are all together over a​ prolonged period of​ time, things regularly deteriorate. They may share your views but be afraid to​ stand up and​ say so. You may be able to​ agree to​ set a​ time limit conducive to​ more good memories and​ less bad. if​ they don’t agree on this occasion, they are still more likely to​ remember what you have said and​ based on the​ next experience be willing to​ modify things.

2. Remember, that you can still opt to​ do what you choose without the​ support of​ the​ rest of​ your family.

3. if​ the​ children tend to​ be hyper, there are a​ number of​ things you can do.

4. Suggest you have the​ meal soon after arrival so that the​ children don’t eat too many sugary snacks or​ get involved in​ running around LOUDLY.

5. Could you have the​ party outside? Less mess

6. Organise things to​ do such as​ games.

7. Reduce the​ availability of​ alcohol.

8. if​ things look like getting fraught, consider injecting some humour into the​ situation.

9. Could you go to​ a​ venue outside so that you need not be concerned about cooking clearing up etc? Also less likely to​ have rows in​ a​ social setting.

10. Perhaps if​ each of​ you brought a​ different course, some pressure would be taken from mum.

11. Would it​ be possible to​ book in​ to​ a​ hotel for​ the​ meal? Maybe smaller tables would mean less chaos and​ there would be more choice about who to​ sit with. Everyone would also be more aware of​ a​ time constraint. if​ you don’t have to​ spend too lengthy a​ time together, everyone is​ more likely to​ make an​ effort to​ get on with each other.

12. Think ahead and​ be prepared to​ use some coping strategies.
Would it​ be possible to​ take a​ friend with you? Someone seen as​ not family may mean that others are less likely to​ misbehave. if​ you find particular people put you down then having an​ ally can be comforting.

13. Visualise yourself coping in​ the​ situation.

14. Use breathing exercises to​ stay calm.

15. Wear comfortable clothes that you feel confident in.

16. Endeavour to​ ignore the​ trivialities.

17. Sometimes it​ can pay to​ just shut out what is​ being said.

18. Do not go to​ these events expecting everything to​ go well. Accept that there will be some difficulties

19. Mentally prepare yourself beforehand by making sure you give yourself some “. Me time.”

20. Do something which makes you feel good .Go for​ a​ massage, a​ walk or​ listen to​ some music

21. if​ you go to​ the​ get together reward yourself afterwards for​ going.



This article was submitted by Mary Lennox an​ experienced counsellor and​ intuitive life coach. the​ combination of​ her education, career background and​ life experiences enable her to​ have an​ empathic understanding across abroad spectrum of​ circumstances. Visit her website www.lifecoachinggym.com for​ more free articles or​ to​ subscribe to​ her free bi monthly newsletter "WORKOUT."

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